The Mother Of Crap

To Allah we belong and to Him we shall return

25/04/2009. I was walking upper Queen Street when I got a txt from my sister:

“don’t panic, papa in ICU right now. Routine check-up. Please perform hajat prayer for his wellbeing”

I knew right then and there, something is not gonna be right. I’m not a person to see things in a negative light, but I’m more of a “hope for the best, prepared for the worst” kinda person. Still abit shaky from the txt I got from my sister, I decided to take a breather at Borders.

It was 30 minutes later that I got a phone call from my brother. I look at his name and phone number flashing on my phone screen. I swear to God, I do not want to answer that phone call. My brother never calls me and somehow, this one got my worst nightmare written all over it. I answered anyway…

“Ari, papa dah takde. Ari sabar eh” (“Ari, papa is no longer with us. I hope you remain calm.”)

He hung up. His shaky voice still echoing in my head. It happened again. My worst nightmare happened again. The fear of losing the people I love. A part of me wanted to accept the fact that my father is no longer with us and the other half just wants to be in denial. My emotions are mixed. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to wail, yet I just sit there, motionless. I just don’t know what to do.

My phone is ringing again. It was my mother.

“Ari, papa is not with us anymore. I want you to remain calm. This will happen to all of us, and our life on earth in on loan. We have to remember that one day, Allah will take us as well.”

Steady and concise. She sounded as if nothing happened. But deep down inside, only she knew.

My emotions still mixed, I started walking again. I walked to the bus stop, hop on a bus, and ride it home. Another phone call, and this time, it was my sister. She was crying.

“Ari, have you heard?”

“Yeah….”

“ Oh ok, did someone informed Kak Myra?”

“Yeah, mama called her….”

All three phone calls and the only words that manage to come out of my mouth are “yeah” and “ok”. I can’t even make a proper sentence. I just want to get home as soon as possible.

I got home, jump into the shower, take a quick bath and went upstairs to do my prayers. It was right after Isya’ prayer, sitting on my bed still trying to digest what had happened, that I decided to accept the fact that I will never see my father again.

And a slight feeling of guilt started to creep in. I felt guilty I never bothered to ask him how’s he doing. I felt guilty that I may have not been a good son. I felt guilty for all the pain I may have caused all these years. I felt guilty that I’m 6000 miles away. I felt guilty that I was not able to be next to him when he left us forever.

Now he’s gone, and everything changes. He will not be here for Ramadhan. He will not be here to celebrate Eid. He will not be here to look after his sick patients. He will not be here to see all his grandchildren grow up. He will not be here to see me get married.

He will not be here.

Al-Fatihah

My new obsession! I love this band. Never heard of em’ before but thanks to my sister, I can now add them to my super duper awesome bands list. They remind me of Nouvelle Vague but with more early 60′s flair. Rolling Stone honored them as one of the best 25 bands on MySpace and Allmusic called them one the 25 most crushworthy bands of 2006.*

*source: Wikipedia

white shoes & the couples company

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Oh..

Gelombang nestapa…
Gelombang nestapa…
Gelombang nestapa kuharap sirna…

Christian Audigier is no stranger to the power of celebrity when it comes to marketing his clothes.

And while stars including Britney Spears, Heidi Klum and Nicollette Sheridan have been snapped in pieces from his Ed Hardy fashion line, the French designer has reportedly called on the pulling power of one of the world’s most iconic women, Madonna.

The 50-year-old Material Girl is said to have jumped at the opportunity to work on a trendy new range for the tattoo-inspired fashion label when she was approached by Christian, who’s designing an outfit for Michael Jackson’s upcoming tour.

Following her foray into fashion design with H&M the stylish singer has been offered six-figure deal to design a special collection that will include tattoo-inspired T-shirts and diamante-encrusted bodices, the Daily Mirror reports.

Sweet! Hopefully for my next spree they already have it at The Heeren.

And maybe she’ll do Tokidoki next. Wishful thinking, but still….

source: Hello Magazine

4.80 for a cup of venti Americano?! Stink!

Le Grand (yeah right) Cirque is slightly, just SLIGHTLY better than The Royal London Crap I watched a couple of years back. Grand my ass. The stage is so small, there’s hardly any "grandeur". The costumes were crap too. It is a circus after all, so I shouldn’t be nitpicking but do they have to go with the "Teletubbies Gone Wild" look? And I swear to God, there’s an act with a guy and a bunch of girls in chicken suit, riding a bicycle.

What a waste of time that was! And money! Can’t believe I paid 50 bucks for that. This has got to be one of the lamest shows on earth. The weirdest part was the fact that they manage to sold out Sydney Opera House last month. How the hell did they do that???